Let me just begin this with a small disclaimer: Guys may want to shy away from this particular post... but your wives and girlfriends will much appreciate the info. I am about to impart.
Ladies, I am a thirty-something of the female persuasion raised by a woman who was a stickler for proper fashion. Let me explain- my Momma was a business woman of the 80s, in her hey-day, before she opted to take on a career of the heart (she later chose to lend her service to the public school system) she worked a high-profile, high-income career in banking, and boy, did she know how to dress for success! The woman always wore stockings & heels, her skirts and slacks tailored to a length that was just so, the hairdresser was pretty much a second home, and we always, ALWAYS, dressed appropriately for church. Now, I am not by any means the career woman my mother was, but I did manage to take in some of her style etiquette (although she would dispute this point) and apply it to my own life. I am a little more of a free-style personality, a bit more bohemian than my mother would perhaps have abided. However, I do believe that you should dress appropriately for church. I don't mean you have to dress to the nines, church-life these days seems more relaxed than back in the day when I had to don a bonnet and little pinafore dress with tights and black patent leather mary-jane's. I see folks wearing jeans, and nice khaki pants, some shorts... this is all fine, and I do believe that 'come as you are' mentality.
My husband and I are by no means into forcing stiff collars or ruffly dresses onto the girls, but this weekend when we saw a teenager in church wearing cut-off SHORT shorts, that was just a jaw-dropper. This girl was probably around 13-15 yrs of age, and my husband nudged me and whispered, "I'll kill you if you let our girls go out like that... ANYWHERE!" I have seen this little number before, but never at church. Usually we spy this scandalous style out at the mall when the parents have dropped these little ladies off & they are meeting their boyfriends. Ladies PLEASE tell your daughters they are not allowed to wear shorts so short we can see their buns poking out of the bottoms, especially to CHURCH! Believe me, for many young girls this fashion is not flattering unless you are blessed with the gams and backside of Daisy Duke... and that's few & far between! The sad thing is that many times, we have seen these young girls out and about WITH THEIR MOMS wearing things that would make Dita Von Tesse blush. Recently, we were out at a restaurant and a mother-daughter team strolled out, my husband began to gag on his food and point towards the exit- I looked just in time to glimpse a young lady rolling out the door in a dress so short that from behind I could see all of her... ahem, ASSETS! At the time, our waitress saw the commotion at our table and came over to see if my husband needed a Heimlich maneuver or what. We asked her if she had seen what just walked out the door, and she informed us that the young lady was not a lady at all- but a girl aged 10! What was worse, she said that some of the older male waiters had been ogling this girl, and when she informed them of the girl's age, they shrugged as if to say, "So what." You might think that based on how I described this girl's attire that her mom was dressed the same... or worse. Nope! Her mother was prim and polished, wearing her summer white, and looking like she was fresh from a magazine ad in Parenting mag. The mother looked perfect! How then, could she let her 10 year old child go out ANYWHERE in an outfit that a woman 'on the hunt might' wear to a nightclub?! People, PLEASE- you know this is not at all kosher attire for a child of ten, or 12, or 16 even! Not unless you are perhaps considering to further your daughter's early education into the realm of Burlesque. I just remember that my own mother was not a prude, she understood that sexy did not mean baring it all for the world to see, but hinting at the possibility of it. The seduction of a plunging neckling that suggests at the secrets within can be much more appealing than a triangle-top bursting with bosom at the sides and baring the whole thing for free. A proper fitting pair of shorts or slim jeans that flatter your backside can be way more sexy than airing your buns (and sadly some of your flab) out beneath ragged cut-offs. Mothers should be a catalyst for this, we should say to our daughters, 'Look- no way I am letting you out of the house like this. Let's find something more flattering... like this shroud!'
Just kidding, but you get my point. Look, we aren't prudes here, but I think your perspective on appropriate clothing changes once you have children of your own. I know I wore risque outfits, but that was when I was on my own, in my early twenties, and for sure I out of my mother's eagle-eye line of sight!!
Another topic that I have for this post is to promote all the ladies to go out and get properly fitted for a bra. Moms should also take the reigns on this one when daughters get old enough. For families where Mom is not present, Dad might ask a trusted Aunt or female relative to help out on this one if he is too squeamish. Women- here is another little tid-bit- You need to have a proper bra fitting more than one time in your life! Things change- people change, your boobs change! For example, I am pregnant right now, and I have had a terrible time finding a comfy bra that is supportive. I used to like underwire, but now I find it EVIL! This is just my personal thing, some folks swear by it.
A few months back, I went to a reputable big name maternity shop in the mall- and the woman measured my bosom, OVER my padded bra. This method is NOT correct! It resulted in her telling me that I measured as a DDD or F. I suddenly felt like I could easily stand in for Jane Mansfield or move over Pamela Anderson here I come, because she also informed me that by the end of my pregnancy I could be into a size G & have to special order! So for a couple of weeks I went around trying on I don't know how many styles of bra trying to find one that fit properly. Even the ones in the maternity store did not fit well. I even went back again, but the same thing happened. Because she did not take the time to take me in the dressing room and ask me to remove the padded bra, the sizing was incorrect. You might wonder why I wear a padded bra anyway, being blessed with a generous size anyway... For me, it's not for effect, it's to keep certain little things in check! Anyway, I went forth again and tried to find a bra that fit comfortably. Let me tell you something, a pregnant woman is uncomfortable enough- I needed something to keep the girls in-line and happy! As any woman who has had children knows, the bosom, as well as the belly, is affected by the wonderous changes that occur during pregnancy. I needed some darn support! Finally, I decided I would go old school and headed to Belk's, our local department store, and headed over to the lingerie department and sought out one of the lovely older ladies who held the title of 'fit specialist.' I was uncomfortable for about 5 seconds as she requested that I remove my outer clothing and bra, while she did a proper fitting. She took the measurement, and I had picked out a nice Bali brand style that seemed supportive and lacked the wicked underwire that has become popular. I am now in a state of perpetual bliss... or at least my bosom is. I can't believe the difference a proper fitting bra has made in my overall comfort level. I even noticed the difference of how my clothing falls over a proper fitting bra. There is no spillage, or back roll going on, clothes look smooth and streamline, but most of all- I feel GREAT! YAY! So here's my advice to all of you Moms out there- take your daughters out for a proper bra fitting. Get them in the habit of doing these kinds of things from the start will also get them to thinking about paying attention to their breasts from early on, knowing the changes, and also getting a proper exam! Did I mention how much better I feel now?! :)
How A Proper Bra Should Fit:
* The back of your bra should be parallel to the front, in other words- your back band should not feel as though it is riding up on your back.
*I know you dream of looking like Marilyn Monroe, don't we all, but you should not be spilling out over the top of your bra, this is not proper support.
* Your breast should be fully encased in the cup of the bra, this may seem common sense- but think about how many time you bought a cute bra even if you felt the underwire pressing into the underside of your boobage. The underwire should fit against your ribcage
* There should be no wrinkling over the cup of the bra, this indicates that it is too big.
* Your straps should not dig into you, nor should you feel like your oxygen is being cut off when you clasp your bra.
For more helpful tips:
Check out
bare necessitiesThis British Article
Is Your Bra Making You Ill?Or watch this YouTube -
Bra Fitting Guide- Wearing the Wrong Bra Size
Need something yummy to do with those fresh peaches? Oh my goodness, my husband made peaches-n-cream over the weekend, and I just had some over Special K cereal... It was just SO divine! I have been sick, so my taste buds were a little out of whack this weekend, but this morning I am so happy to say that I was able to savor the sweet flavor!