The Birth eX-Perience... or 'A Roll of the Dice'

First off, I apologize for my blatant disregard of this blog... I used to like to pride myself on doing little features of local venues, opinions, etc. from a mom's perspective, but I guess you can say I have been a little preoccupied these days. My husband & I are just so blessed and happy to welcome baby girl #4 safely into this world. She was born the last weekend of January, and we are just tickled "pink" to say the least :)

In fact, PINK seems to be a popular color for this family- just a week after our precious bundle was born, my hubby's little sis had her own little girl at one of the larger hospitals in Knoxville! It has been an exciting month for our family. That being said, I have had some time to recuperate and grab a little rest when I can... actually, I can't lie. I am one of those lucky *ladies that have the good fortune to have a Mommy who recently retired. Yes - Granny's here & just in time too! Yes- we are having an adjustment period... because of course Grannies like to do things the 'Granny' way. Yet- I am still so thankful for this, because during the last trimester of my pregnancy, my husband and I got extremely sick, and the kids did too. I don't think I would have lasted so long if my Momma hadn't come to the rescue! Much love out to all the Grannies, Ma-maws, Nanas, and such that always come to the rescue -XOXO!

Having had three previous pregnancies & birth experiences to compare, I can definitely tell you this little nugget of truth is certain- No two pregnancies or birth experiences are exactly the same! So don't let your friends scare you with their own terrifying nightmare ER stories... Don't let your Momma wig you out about her 36 hours of excruciating labor to bring you into this world, or your sister freak you out with her thousandth telling of the OMG- 'my water broke in Walmart' story. You are your own individual being, and the same goes for your birth process as well. And if you are like me and have had four individual birth processes, then you will soon find out that each one is going to be its own unique experience as I assuredly found out with this past pregnancy.

My overall pregnancy went well- aside from the crazy illnesses going around this past winter, everything from my oldest bringing strep home from school 3 times in a 4 month period, to H1N1 (which also came through my place), to bronchitis, let's see throw in some crazy bacterial infection, a little bit of sinusitis... some nasty hospital trips... Well, I think you get the idea. Folks- the illnesses going around out there are SCARY! It was enough to almost turn me into a Howard Hughes disciple at the end of my pregnancy... I was wearing gloves in the supermarket so I didn't have to touch the buggy, spraying Lysol everywhere- lucky I didn't poison myself or the kids with cleaner!! UGLY stuff. Anyway, as far as weight gain- I only picked up about 11 pounds, a triumph because this is the least amount of weight I have ever gained during a pregnancy. Which is odd, since this is the BIGGEST baby I have delivered so far!! My first pregnancy tipped the scales with a whopping 60 pounds gained... I am only admitting this to show that each pregnancy is different. Yikes, with my first baby- EVERYTHING swelled- even my poor little nose!!

Country Mouse VS City Mouse...
Now, I am the first to admit that I am city born & bred. It has taken me some time to get used to some of the differences between big(ger) city living and the country life. One thing that I have wholly come to embrace here is that of my family doctor taking on the role of delivering my babies. I have to say that I love my doctor- he has delivered three out of four of my babies, and he knows me & I know and trust him. I think the most important quality you can have in your doctor, whatever their specialty, is trust. I have confidence in the fact that what he is telling me, is absolutely for my own good & that of the baby. The other thing that is high on the list of important qualities is LISTENING. My doctor never makes you feel rushed, or like you are on his time, he always sits patiently and listens to what I am saying. He is like the old school family doctor who knows my husband & his family (in fact, he was my husband's childhood doc), and has a talent for making you think you are having plain old conversation when in fact he is actually gleaning valuable health-related information from you.

I know that some folks may think my doctor's way seems a bit old-fashioned, and might then jump to the conclusion that his medicine is dated... I think so many of us now have the impression that in order for a doctor's practice to be 'professional' that it should almost be devoid of any trace of a human element. We have gotten used to the totally sterile environment, white coats, office visits strictly scheduled for15 minute increments, and the doctor appears as the great unquestionable totem of birth knowledge. Okay- I am exaggerating a bit... but apparently not much. I have to say that when my water broke, I went right to the local hospital here in Oak Ridge, and my doctor showed up right away. He even spent the night at the hospital because he didn't want to go home and chance not being there for my little one's birth! On the other hand, my sister-in-law's Knoxville OB who came highly recommended, didn't even show up at the Knoxville hospital for her delivery... and neither did the doctor on call for the practice. My sister-in-law had what is termed a "nurse delivery," which I am told is more common than you'd think. The OB that was in the hospital was already in the process of delivering another baby when my sis-in-law was in labor. I was upset by this, but someone told my husband when we were at the hospital, that most doctors don't even want to be called unless the baby is crowning... for me this is too late! If I am crowning- you better be here with a catcher's mitt standing at the ready! My doctor said he didn't want to miss our delivery for anything- he even went so far as to tell his wife he couldn't go away with her that weekend for a quick trip... How's that for dedication! Lucky that my doc was there ready & waiting because my little petunia was a whopping 8 lbs 12 oz & there was a bit of a complication with her shoulders getting *ahem, stuck. If my doctor hadn't been there, things may not have turned out so well for us both. We were both lucky & blessed. Thankfully, things turned out well for my sister-in-law & her baby too.

I will also say that in the 2 1/2 years since my last stay at the local hospital, there have definitely been some changes. The nurses were all very nice and accommodating, some more so than others, but I was not so thrilled about feeling pushed to use medications for pain, sleep, etc. One nurse really tried to insist I take a sleep medication, and I adamantly refused. I don't like to take medications like that unless I absolutely have to do so. Other than that, I really felt that the nursing staff took excellent care of us. They were considerate, kind, and very willing to answer any and all questions that we might have had. The pediatrician also checked in on us & personally reported his findings regarding the baby's first few examinations. A new thing for us was that the babies now have to wear a little monitor that will sound the alarm system if someone tries to take a baby off of the ward without permission. Believe me- it works! I found this out because one day we heard the alarm go off- I thought the hospital was on fire! A nurse ran frantically into our room & shouted, "Do you have your baby?!!" Dumbfounded- we managed to blurt out a yes. That was a CRAZY moment, but comforting to know that your baby is not going to be slipped out of the hospital in a duffel bag! It was a bit annoying though, the little monitor kept slipping, so I'd have the baby sleeping, or feeding, & the nurses would constantly come in to check the little box & rustle her awake again. I often hear a lot of negative reviews regarding our local hospital in Oak Ridge, but while the Labor & Delivery unit may not have had some of the newer amenities as the Knoxville hospital, it has always been beyond adequate for our needs & the nursing staff was just wonderful to our family.

Boo!!

This is just too adorable!! These are Skullsies from Etsy seller WeeNimble.

These are so perfect for Halloween dress-up!! Know anyone expecting this month- cause what a cute addition to a gift basket for a baby shower. This is so up my sis-in-law's alley- I just might have to get a couple of these lil' cuties.

Gun Totin' Mamas??

There was quite a buzz on the Hallerin Hilton Hill morning show this AM regarding Knox County's decision to allow permit holders to carry guns in parks. There are strong feelings on both sides of the issue, but apparently, the vote was 13-5 in favor of allowing guns in parks.

I have to tell you that it never occurred to me to own or carry a gun in the past, even when I lived in Baltimore- a city where our daily murder rate was higher than the jobless rate is today (kidding, but only slightly)! I walked alone, drove through really dangerous neighborhoods in an 80s jalopy that was famous for stalling, I was constantly harassed by every crazy imaginable in downtown 'Charm City', and even had my apartment and car broken into a few times. The break-ins, rats, scary/aggressive pan-handlers, and colorful transvestite hookers all came with with the territory of living downtown. I just never felt threatened enough back then- I just never really thought about it.

However- now as a mother of three going on four little girls... I definitely am feeling a bit more open to the idea of maybe going out there and getting a permit to carry if I so choose. I have become increasingly conscious of the fact that as a mother of multiple small children, I make an easy target for someone looking to commit a quick crime of opportunity. I have become more aware of this because the last few years, crimes of opportunity have been on the rise in Oak Ridge. As many mothers of small children come to realize- you can't help but be distracted in the parking lot of your local grocery store. Even on what at first seemed to be a simple trip to pick up a prescription, or a bag of this or that, can easily turn into a circus in the parking lot. It only takes a second, and suddenly the baby dropped his bottle and starts screaming- you look away from your purse and bend down to grab that ba-ba, and poof- someone snatches your bag in an instant. And this scenario is tame compared to some of the news stories featured in recent years- a woman and her young daughter were killed during a carjacking in Florida- for their black SUV, the horrifying tragedy of Christoper Newsom & Channon Christian's heinous murder & carjacking... There are some bad people- just plain evil people out there, and they are looking for victims that have their guard down. I am not trying to say the outcome would have been any different in either of these cases, but I can't help but wonder if carrying a gun would be a successful deterrent for these criminals.

I know I am an easy target- I am a mother with a heart who loves her kids more than anything! This makes me vulnerable. Every time I go to the store without my husband, a big bear of a man, I have to unbuckle three kids and then buckle them back up, I have to hold hands with one, push one in the buggy, and be sure the oldest is holding on... somewhere, and that no one is in danger of getting run over by jerks who speed in parking lots! The first few times I took everybody out by myself, it was just too overwhelming. The middle child ran from me in the parking lot of Mickey D's, it was raining and I chased her down shouting like a fool while pushing my then infant in the stroller wildly and practically dragging the oldest to death. I was a total disaster that day. I learned from that experience, and have since figured out how to do things differently. I do try to check my surroundings before getting out of the car with the kids, or while pushing the grocery cart to the car, I do try to also do my errands on days when I only have one or two little ones in tow... even so- I still feel a little vulnerable.

My husband has been gun saavy since he was a toddler. His dad took him hunting, and taught him the appropriate way to use a gun. He was in the Marine Corps when we met, and of course had to qualify regularly. He knows his way around guns, and we do have them in the house, kept locked in a safe place away from little hands. Even though I was raised in the city- my dad (a businessman) did keep a handgun- it was not locked up, but we knew better than to fool with it, or his samurai sword for that matter. I want my kids to learn gun safety. They need to know these things, because here in Tennessee, they are very likely to run across family members or friends' parents who keep guns. It is better for you to teach your kids gun safety, than to take the road of total avoidance and try pretend that guns don't exist in this world. Believe me- you'd rather teach them appropriately than have someone else (like their goofy peers) teach them in a dangerous situation.

I was initially shocked when I found out my neighbor, a mother of five, also had a gun carry permit, and always keeps a small gun on her person. She told me that her husband, also an ex-military man, wanted her to feel comfortable firing a gun in case of emergency. He took her to a class, where she qualified and then went on to receive a carry permit. She definitely feels more confident when she goes out with her kids, in that she knows that she can take care of business and handle herself if she is ever threatened.

I am still a bit gun-shy on the issue but I am definitely seriously considering obtaining a carry permit, I may not always carry, but would have that option. It is something that takes a serious amount of careful and honest consideration before you run out and do it.

A real point to remember, that I learned even back in my days of being in Baltimore- those who have bad intentions and lack morals are going to go out regardless of the law and have weapons, legally or not. At least those who do abide by law have the have the option to carry a gun for protection. I can't be naive and think everybody is shiny, happy, and nice- unfortunately the world is not like that. And it's not just me in the car now- it's my babies, my girls, my life!

This is a real issue- what are your thoughts on Mamas Totin' Guns??

*No the gun totin' preggie Betty in the pic is NOT me... Credit for this cool image entitled Mama's Gun goes to elevatedprimate on flickr

Cute Stuff

Check out this adorable T-Rex GRASP and TEETHER TOY by seller littlesaplingtoys! They are described as being made from 'maple sanded satin smooth with no finish' and when you purchase one of these little cuties, a tree will be planted through Trees for the Future.

The hand grasp makes this easy for a child to hold onto and manipulate. I love this idea of getting away from the plastic chewy things to a more natural and greener form of toy for baby!

This would be the perfect addition to a shower gift- and perfect for my little chomper right now :^)

I HEART Corduroy!

Look at this adorable Corduroy Twirl Knot dress I found on Etsy from seller babybeenos!!! Isn't it just adorably perfect?! And awesomely orange for any little ladylike Tennessee fan :^)

If you don't already know this about me- I LOVE CORDUROY! I used to hate it, but over the years I have developed a fond devotion to the warm nostalgia of this textured fabric. Okay, so my mother forced me to wear corduroy as a kid... and I hated it then, but least I now understand why she loved it! Corduroy can be just as sturdy as denim, and the beauty of this ingenious fabric is that it comes in SO many lovely variants- pinks, purples, paisley with little bears, it's just incredible! For little girls, corduroy is perfectly engineered. If you happen to have a tomboy in the family, jeans are no longer the only option- corduroy is the perfect transition! You can dress it up or dress it down depending on the occasion. In the winter, I love to have my girls wear corduroy pants and fuzzy sweaters to church- they are warm, comfortable, and adorable- and can play afterward later with no fuss. Corduroy is the magic fabric people! Go out and get some today :^)

Mmmm... A Healthy, and YUMMY start to the day!

Need something yummy to do with those fresh peaches? Oh my goodness, my husband made peaches-n-cream over the weekend, and I just had some over Special K cereal... It was just SO divine! I have been sick, so my taste buds were a little out of whack this weekend, but this morning I am so happy to say that I was able to savor the sweet flavor!

He used fresh peaches, cut up into wedges, sprinkled with a little sugar, and chilled to perfection in the fridge. Oh they just are SO yummy!

A Proper Fit... Ladies- Get Your Girls a Lift & Keep Your Can-Can Covered at Church!

Let me just begin this with a small disclaimer: Guys may want to shy away from this particular post... but your wives and girlfriends will much appreciate the info. I am about to impart.

Ladies, I am a thirty-something of the female persuasion raised by a woman who was a stickler for proper fashion. Let me explain- my Momma was a business woman of the 80s, in her hey-day, before she opted to take on a career of the heart (she later chose to lend her service to the public school system) she worked a high-profile, high-income career in banking, and boy, did she know how to dress for success! The woman always wore stockings & heels, her skirts and slacks tailored to a length that was just so, the hairdresser was pretty much a second home, and we always, ALWAYS, dressed appropriately for church. Now, I am not by any means the career woman my mother was, but I did manage to take in some of her style etiquette (although she would dispute this point) and apply it to my own life. I am a little more of a free-style personality, a bit more bohemian than my mother would perhaps have abided. However, I do believe that you should dress appropriately for church. I don't mean you have to dress to the nines, church-life these days seems more relaxed than back in the day when I had to don a bonnet and little pinafore dress with tights and black patent leather mary-jane's. I see folks wearing jeans, and nice khaki pants, some shorts... this is all fine, and I do believe that 'come as you are' mentality.

My husband and I are by no means into forcing stiff collars or ruffly dresses onto the girls, but this weekend when we saw a teenager in church wearing cut-off SHORT shorts, that was just a jaw-dropper. This girl was probably around 13-15 yrs of age, and my husband nudged me and whispered, "I'll kill you if you let our girls go out like that... ANYWHERE!" I have seen this little number before, but never at church. Usually we spy this scandalous style out at the mall when the parents have dropped these little ladies off & they are meeting their boyfriends. Ladies PLEASE tell your daughters they are not allowed to wear shorts so short we can see their buns poking out of the bottoms, especially to CHURCH! Believe me, for many young girls this fashion is not flattering unless you are blessed with the gams and backside of Daisy Duke... and that's few & far between! The sad thing is that many times, we have seen these young girls out and about WITH THEIR MOMS wearing things that would make Dita Von Tesse blush. Recently, we were out at a restaurant and a mother-daughter team strolled out, my husband began to gag on his food and point towards the exit- I looked just in time to glimpse a young lady rolling out the door in a dress so short that from behind I could see all of her... ahem, ASSETS! At the time, our waitress saw the commotion at our table and came over to see if my husband needed a Heimlich maneuver or what. We asked her if she had seen what just walked out the door, and she informed us that the young lady was not a lady at all- but a girl aged 10! What was worse, she said that some of the older male waiters had been ogling this girl, and when she informed them of the girl's age, they shrugged as if to say, "So what." You might think that based on how I described this girl's attire that her mom was dressed the same... or worse. Nope! Her mother was prim and polished, wearing her summer white, and looking like she was fresh from a magazine ad in Parenting mag. The mother looked perfect! How then, could she let her 10 year old child go out ANYWHERE in an outfit that a woman 'on the hunt might' wear to a nightclub?! People, PLEASE- you know this is not at all kosher attire for a child of ten, or 12, or 16 even! Not unless you are perhaps considering to further your daughter's early education into the realm of Burlesque. I just remember that my own mother was not a prude, she understood that sexy did not mean baring it all for the world to see, but hinting at the possibility of it. The seduction of a plunging neckling that suggests at the secrets within can be much more appealing than a triangle-top bursting with bosom at the sides and baring the whole thing for free. A proper fitting pair of shorts or slim jeans that flatter your backside can be way more sexy than airing your buns (and sadly some of your flab) out beneath ragged cut-offs. Mothers should be a catalyst for this, we should say to our daughters, 'Look- no way I am letting you out of the house like this. Let's find something more flattering... like this shroud!'

Just kidding, but you get my point. Look, we aren't prudes here, but I think your perspective on appropriate clothing changes once you have children of your own. I know I wore risque outfits, but that was when I was on my own, in my early twenties, and for sure I out of my mother's eagle-eye line of sight!!

Another topic that I have for this post is to promote all the ladies to go out and get properly fitted for a bra. Moms should also take the reigns on this one when daughters get old enough. For families where Mom is not present, Dad might ask a trusted Aunt or female relative to help out on this one if he is too squeamish. Women- here is another little tid-bit- You need to have a proper bra fitting more than one time in your life! Things change- people change, your boobs change! For example, I am pregnant right now, and I have had a terrible time finding a comfy bra that is supportive. I used to like underwire, but now I find it EVIL! This is just my personal thing, some folks swear by it.

A few months back, I went to a reputable big name maternity shop in the mall- and the woman measured my bosom, OVER my padded bra. This method is NOT correct! It resulted in her telling me that I measured as a DDD or F. I suddenly felt like I could easily stand in for Jane Mansfield or move over Pamela Anderson here I come, because she also informed me that by the end of my pregnancy I could be into a size G & have to special order! So for a couple of weeks I went around trying on I don't know how many styles of bra trying to find one that fit properly. Even the ones in the maternity store did not fit well. I even went back again, but the same thing happened. Because she did not take the time to take me in the dressing room and ask me to remove the padded bra, the sizing was incorrect. You might wonder why I wear a padded bra anyway, being blessed with a generous size anyway... For me, it's not for effect, it's to keep certain little things in check! Anyway, I went forth again and tried to find a bra that fit comfortably. Let me tell you something, a pregnant woman is uncomfortable enough- I needed something to keep the girls in-line and happy! As any woman who has had children knows, the bosom, as well as the belly, is affected by the wonderous changes that occur during pregnancy. I needed some darn support! Finally, I decided I would go old school and headed to Belk's, our local department store, and headed over to the lingerie department and sought out one of the lovely older ladies who held the title of 'fit specialist.' I was uncomfortable for about 5 seconds as she requested that I remove my outer clothing and bra, while she did a proper fitting. She took the measurement, and I had picked out a nice Bali brand style that seemed supportive and lacked the wicked underwire that has become popular. I am now in a state of perpetual bliss... or at least my bosom is. I can't believe the difference a proper fitting bra has made in my overall comfort level. I even noticed the difference of how my clothing falls over a proper fitting bra. There is no spillage, or back roll going on, clothes look smooth and streamline, but most of all- I feel GREAT! YAY! So here's my advice to all of you Moms out there- take your daughters out for a proper bra fitting. Get them in the habit of doing these kinds of things from the start will also get them to thinking about paying attention to their breasts from early on, knowing the changes, and also getting a proper exam! Did I mention how much better I feel now?! :)

How A Proper Bra Should Fit:
* The back of your bra should be parallel to the front, in other words- your back band should not feel as though it is riding up on your back.
*I know you dream of looking like Marilyn Monroe, don't we all, but you should not be spilling out over the top of your bra, this is not proper support.
* Your breast should be fully encased in the cup of the bra, this may seem common sense- but think about how many time you bought a cute bra even if you felt the underwire pressing into the underside of your boobage. The underwire should fit against your ribcage
* There should be no wrinkling over the cup of the bra, this indicates that it is too big.
* Your straps should not dig into you, nor should you feel like your oxygen is being cut off when you clasp your bra.

For more helpful tips:
Check out bare necessities
This British Article Is Your Bra Making You Ill?
Or watch this YouTube - Bra Fitting Guide- Wearing the Wrong Bra Size